With everything that’s going on with my job lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future and what I want to do with myself. Quarter life crisis much? Haha, well, the problem is I was never one of those people who grew up thinking, “I want to be a doctor!” No, I wanted to be a Power Ranger… -___- Seriously, it says it on my day care certificate. I guess the repercussions are that I don’t have a clear idea of the path my life is heading towards. And that scares me. Not because of the uncertainty of what lies ahead, but just the fact that I apparently don’t know myself well enough to know what I want to do. Does that make sense?
The job I have right now is… just a job. Honestly, I never thought of my job as something I should enjoy. But I had a real eye-opening conversation the other month, and it made me realize that just because you have a “job” doesn’t mean it has to be “work”… there are people who LOVE what they do, and I never even considered that as an option for myself. But then the problem arises… there’s nothing that I love enough to consider as a career. And even if there was, there’s the issue of income. Money isn’t everything, but it’s pretty damn important.
Also, I want to get out of here. Been feeling so jaded lately. Everyone around me seems so content with their lives, but all I can think about is how badly I want to go somewhere new and experience different things. I’m so tired of doing the same things over and over. I can barely distinguish one weekend from the next. And every time I want to do something new, I feel like I always get shut down or labeled as strange. The only good thing that’s come out of this is that I feel much more independent. No one wants to volunteer with me? Fuck it, I’ll do it anyway. Haha. A year ago, I wouldn’t be caught dead eating by myself or going to a movie alone. Now, I could care less. If I want to do something, and there’s nothing stopping me… then there’s no excuse not to. Social stigma, my ass!
Sometimes I just want to scream because I feel like my life is so meaningless. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh AHHHHHHHHH poop. D: I’m only 22, in the prime of my youth, and I want to experience and try everything but there’s not enough time and I feel overwhelmed at the sheer amount of nothing I’m doing. AHHH.
Anyway. I don’t know what the point of this post was. I just have a large number of thoughts running through my head lately and I needed somewhere to write.
TL;DR - Need change.
My favorite meme. All the things I wish I were brave enough to say to people in real life. Sigh!
‘Parks and Recreation’ 4x13
Three great men: a king, a priest, and a rich man. Between them stands a common sellsword. Each great man bids the sellsword kill the other two. Who lives? Who dies? Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Game of Thrones Season 2!!!