With everything that’s going on with my job lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future and what I want to do with myself.  Quarter life crisis much?  Haha, well, the problem is I was never one of those people who grew up thinking, “I want to be a doctor!” No, I wanted to be a Power Ranger… -___- Seriously, it says it on my day care certificate.  I guess the repercussions are that I don’t have a clear idea of the path my life is heading towards.  And that scares me.  Not because of the uncertainty of what lies ahead, but just the fact that I apparently don’t know myself well enough to know what I want to do.  Does that make sense?

The job I have right now is… just a job.  Honestly, I never thought of my job as something I should enjoy.  But I had a real eye-opening conversation the other month, and it made me realize that just because you have a “job” doesn’t mean it has to be “work”… there are people who LOVE what they do, and I never even considered that as an option for myself.  But then the problem arises… there’s nothing that I love enough to consider as a career.  And even if there was, there’s the issue of income.  Money isn’t everything, but it’s pretty damn important.

SIGH.

Also, I want to get out of here.  Been feeling so jaded lately.  Everyone around me seems so content with their lives, but all I can think about is how badly I want to go somewhere new and experience different things.  I’m so tired of doing the same things over and over.  I can barely distinguish one weekend from the next.  And every time I want to do something new, I feel like I always get shut down or labeled as strange.  The only good thing that’s come out of this is that I feel much more independent.  No one wants to volunteer with me?  Fuck it, I’ll do it anyway. Haha.  A year ago, I wouldn’t be caught dead eating by myself or going to a movie alone.  Now, I could care less.  If I want to do something, and there’s nothing stopping me… then there’s no excuse not to.  Social stigma, my ass!

Sometimes I just want to scream because I feel like my life is so meaningless.  Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh AHHHHHHHHH poop. D: I’m only 22, in the prime of my youth, and I want to experience and try everything but there’s not enough time and I feel overwhelmed at the sheer amount of nothing I’m doing.  AHHH.

Anyway.  I don’t know what the point of this post was.  I just have a large number of thoughts running through my head lately and I needed somewhere to write.

TL;DR - Need change.